Jeff Foster, with humour and compassion, speaks simply and directly about non-duality, emotional healing and awakening… and finding the sacred in the ordinary. 

“Thoughts and feelings are not mistakes, and they are not asking to be HEALED. They are asking to be HELD, here, now, lightly, in the loving arms of present awareness…”


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21 Sep 2018United States Five Day USA Retreat in Colorado

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"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
- Jesus, Gospel of Thomas

In childhood, many of us were taught that certain feeling states, sensations in the body, urges and impulses were "not okay" to feel or express, or even think about. We were taught that we were small and sinful and shameful and separate from Divine Love, broken and dirty and mortal, and that we had to purify ourselves, become whole again. We were made to forget our original Oneness With Life. This was the Original Lie, the Fall From Grace.

As young girls we may have be taught that our anger, our powerful wants and desires, our resistance or defiance or sexual feelings were not okay - they were not natural, they were bad, or sick, or sinful, or dangerous, or shameful, or "not ladylike". As boys we may have be taught that it wasn't okay to be sad, or express our vulnerability, fears and doubts and heartaches and longings. That if we did, if we showed our authentic selves, we would be punished, or ridiculed, or compared with others, or simply neglected, forgotten, laughed at, abandoned.

Hiding our feelings, becoming something we were not, creating a 'persona' to win love and approval - this became a matter of survival.

So, as young ones, we brilliantly and creatively did all we could to push down, suppress, numb or destroy our unwanted, 'dangerous, threatening, negative' thoughts and feelings, de-pressing our true selves and creating a false mask to please the world, and avoid punishment and ridicule. As a matter of life or death, we learned to distract others from our 'dark' souls. Our parents' unresolved shame, fear and self-hatred was internalized - now we felt ashamed of who WE were at the deepest level. We pretended to be strong when we felt weak, positive when we felt negative, confident when we felt doubtful, happy when we felt full of despair, serious and mature and joyless when we secretly felt young and innocent and playful and silly inside.

Even to this day, we may feel like there is something wrong with us, deep down. The 'unacceptable' and 'dark' feelings still fester inside of us, deep in the unconscious, draining our life energy and spirit, making us feel tired, depressed, lethargic, anxious and disconnected from life and each other. Unfelt and suppressed feelings can become destructive and wreak havoc on our immune systems, feeding all manner of diseases, mental and physical, causing unconscious behaviours, addictions, anxiety, even suicidal depression. We may simply feel "dead while alive", and not know why.

To the extent that we run from ourselves, we run from life.

Healing can happen when, in the presence of a safe friend, or therapist, or in the presence of God, the mountains, the vastness of the oceans, or even a loving animal friend, we can find the courage to let our persona 'break down', and reconnect with the unloved parts of ourselves, let these split-off shadowy energies back into the Light of Awareness. We may take the risk of feeling more uncomfortable, more afraid, more unloved and unworthy and angry and chaotic than ever. We may take the risk of seeing ourselves, and being seen in return. Losing the image. Coming out of hiding. The suppressed chaos, the mess, the 'victim', the lost and unloved child, can flood back in, and this time, instead of receiving shame and judgement and ridicule and attack, the very same material receives love, and breath, and understanding, and welcoming, and attention, and curiosity. All the life-giving power trapped inside these suppressed emotions can pour back into our bodies, all the creativity of the anger, the sorrow, the guilt, the fear and the joy can now energize us, inspire us, make us feel whole and powerful and alive again. The energies that previously threatened to destroy us - our anger, our fear, our grief, our deepest and strangest and most creative desires - can now become our greatest teachers, friends and guides, and sources of nourishment.

As the re-integration of healing happens, we may scream, shake, weep, sweat, speak new and surprising words, or fall to the floor. We may look messy and broken and wild and 'crazy'. We may feel and think things that seem 'not like us at all'. We may feel we are about to die, or go mad, or lose ourselves completely. People we imagined were our friends may run from our chaos, or shame it, or try to 'save' us (to save themselves from their own discomfort). New friends, new family, new lovers may arrive to support us in our process, to stay present with us as we fall apart and fall together and fall in love with our wildness again. As we return to the Garden.

In the midst of the crisis of healing, we feel our feet on the ground. We breathe. We let old and powerful energies move through us, like the ancient sky allowing a storm. We trust the body and its mysteries. We remember our Divine Capacity - how much LIFE we can hold, painful and pleasurable, violent and gentle, positive and negative, sacred and profane. ALL thoughts and feelings have a home in us. ALL parts of us are lovable, sacred, natural. We are free and powerful and whole, even when we hurt and feel small. Our vulnerability was never a sin or a sign of 'weakness'.

"Get over it" is the biggest lie of all.

Yes, we can hold it all, from the greatest joy to the deepest despair. That is our true Power.

Like a mother holding her newborn.

Like the Earth, holding us now.

- Jeff Foster

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"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
- Jesus, Gospel of... https://t.co/dIPooCqMlv


"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
- Jesus, Gospel... https://t.co/EMmUlDP9mq