FEAR OF DEATH IS FEAR OF LIFE
People often tell me how their lives can feel overwhelming sometimes, how the waves in life’s ocean can be so intense that it feels like they will be destroyed if they go any further, and the only ‘solution’ seems to be to shut down and numb and distract themselves from their present experience, and then dream of a future freedom or awakening. Pain, fear, sadness, joy and bliss, can feel so huge, so unmanageably colossal, so intense or so intensely beautiful, it’s almost as if you’re about to die, about to be crushed by the weight of life, and it can be terrifying, to be on the verge of death like that.
Perhaps it’s not death we are afraid of, but too much life.
But as the ocean itself, as the vast space of conciousness that holds all of these beloved waves, you can never truly be destroyed, for you know that all of the waves are only movements of yourself, and cannot actually hurt you in your essence. A wave cannot ovewhelm the water, a storm cannot destroy the sea, a teardrop cannot cry itself, and grounded in this knowing, we can expand rather than contract, we can actually open up to the possibility of allowing ourselves to feel totally overwhelmed beyond reason, whilst knowing deeply that we can never be truly overwhelmed, and that if we ever did reach that point, the vast and creative and loving intelligence of the body would render us unconscious instantly.
And so we can fearlessly open ourselves up to both the pain and bliss of life, incorporating all of it into ourselves, knowing that it can never truly overwhelm us, trusting the intelligence of the body, so that even the darkest places become flooded with the light of ourselves, and loss transmutes into love, and pain transmutes into compassion, and “seek and ye shall find”, that most ingrained of concepts, transmutes lovingly into “stop seeking, child, rest deeply in yourself, now, and ye shall be found…”